As it’s almost Valentine’s Day and the world and his wife are thinking about love, it seemed an appropriate time to talk about loving yourself. In the words of Whitney Houston ‘the greatest love is learning to love yourself.’ But how much do you love yourself? And how do you get to that blissful state.
Around menopause and peri-menopause it is more important than ever to love yourself. Your hormone levels are fluctuating and taking your moods with them. Feelings of self worth often get lost. It is easy to be hard on yourself when you are feeling angry and frustrated. The closest person to take your feelings out on is you, and we have seen lots of women do just that. You need to find ways of increasing your love for yourself, and here we outline a few.
Learning to love yourself has great consequences and not just for you. You will feel amazing. Your relationships will improve and your life will start filling up with more of the things you want than the things you don’t.
How to love yourself more
The first step is to recognise that you need to practise how to love yourself more. You may be feeling put out and notice that others don’t treat you as well as you deserve. They will treat you with the respect you demand and if you don’t love yourself enough you won’t be demanding enough. Write down your feelings about yourself and the ways you are treated by others who are important to you. See if you notice any patterns. Are the thoughts you have predominantly negative, or the sort of thing you would never say about a friend? You need to be your own best friend. Just as you would with any other friends you have, kindness and respect are vital.
Change your thinking. Let go of negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Positive affirmations are a great way of doing that. An affirmation is a way of changing your thinking. The mind believes what it hears most. If you tell yourself out loud and regularly that you are worth it, you’ll notice that you start thinking that way. An affirmation is a positive statement you repeat to yourself. You can make up your own or use the ones we post regularly on social media. We’re on Facebook and Instagram.
Make yourself and your wellbeing a priority. If you are constantly at the beck and call of others you will feel devalued. Additionally, you will not be able to help out for long, as you can only help others by looking after yourself first.
Do things you enjoy. Think proactively about the things you enjoy and plan them into your life. It’s easy to get into a rut of work, food, television and sleep. If you never feel you get time to read a book or do an activity you enjoy, plan it in advance. Write it in your diary if necessary. You are much more likely to do things you have planned for.
Reflect on the good things about yourself regularly. Try writing a few accomplishments and good statements about yourself every day. You will be amazed how many there are, and when you are feeling down you can read back and reinforce your positive self worth.
Which of these will you try first? Feel free to share in the comments section below.